一张张的面巾眼看一盒的纸巾都快被我用完咯！！

很辛苦，我讨厌这么弱的自己。。。

更讨厌一颗颗苦涩味道的药丸，

嗅觉变得超不灵敏了啦！

我要快快康复啦。。。

放纵自己的一天

考完试后，心真的觉得块飞起来了。。。好高兴哦。。。

我和几个朋友早就在前几天就约好去密斯。。。我们真的买了很多东西。。。后来又和朋友一起去吃火锅。。。或许这个POST只是草草几句话。。。可是我此刻的心情真的是非笔墨能形容的。。。

GIMNASTIC PERFORMANCE

This is my PJ gimnastic performance... It's really mean a lot to me coz all of us really work hard to get such result... Altough we are not the best group but from this performance, we get to know each other and love this group so much....

Luckily we have a good leader, he always praise us wiz""sui', wow, u juz can't imagine that everybody will felt release after all....

想念家乡的种种

还有一个星期，我就得到心灵和精神上的自由了，终于可以回到那属于我的地方咯。。。从上次离开家的时间，其实我这次出来的时间也并不长啊！可是心里就是那么的挣扎，我真的很想回家，还有三张试卷还没考啦！我真的没有那个心在念下去了咯，只因我的心早就飞回家了。。。

我真的很羡慕那些学姐和学长们啊，那们早就在昨天考完了，不是准备回家，就是到处逛街。。。

回家后，或许没有了跟这里的朋友的逛街机会，可是我真的很想念以前中学的种种，想念那种被你们炸的日子，不要说我是有自虐被妄想症，可是在师范学院的时间就是跟中学时期太不同了。一切的仪态都要顾，只因你是未来的教师。。。

还有，真的很讨厌宿舍的WARDEN，一个就比一个凶，还以为搬到新宿舍会有美好的一年，可惜呀，遇到这种就连短裤也不可以穿的变态。。。 在未来的这一年里，唯有自己照顾自己咯。。。

我真的很迫不及待想要回家常常妈妈亲自下厨的料理，或许没有山珍美味，可是就是有家里的那种味道，我太想念了，尤其上个星期到叔叔家里走一趟。。。

姐姐呢，或许回到家里，我们家每三个人就是忍不住吵架，可是或许这就是我们仨的相处方式吧！不吵架是不成的。哈哈！！！

其他同学们，希望这次回去有机会见到你们，对不起上次了聚会，我没有出席。美暄，春来还有等等这次假期，我真的很想跟你们见面，交换一下我们在师范学院的心得。。。

所谓的因祸得福

星期六早上醒来，到策说洗脸刷牙时，就听到同学们都说制水咯。哎！怎么会这样呢？我刚刚开水来浸衣服啦！！！啊啊啊！！！有种很想骂人的感觉咯。。。

后来得知另外一边厕所还有水，不管咯，心里只是想要冲凉啦，就快点冲去那里的厕所。。。哈哈，好凉爽呀！

后来，有消息说制水回到星期一啊，不管了，我尽快打电话回家跟家人说，我想回叔叔的家。

果然，爸爸就打了电话，向叔叔说明一切，好咯，我终于可以脱离这里的一切困境咯。

在那里，所有人都很照顾我，很开心。。。

第二天，婶婶还为我做了CHIFFON ORANGE SPONGE CAKE ，哇，我真的是太幸福了。。。能做到他做的，我真的很高兴，此外他还给了我食谱，好让我家其实有机会自己下厨。。。

第三天，婶婶又和叔叔一起到菜市场去买黄梨，他们是要做黄梨饼的馅料。真的太有趣了，我又有机会学习另外一门学问。

所以我说这是因祸得福，这些让我的心暖暖的。。。

犹豫的期间

现在想想或许我在别人的眼中就是一个怪胎，明明就由着雨伞让我撑呀！可是我偏偏就是那么的固执，或许我不喜欢那种明明它是让你撑的，可是心里就有很多很多的话说不出口，虽然是我会和他们一起，可是就是觉得我们的距离就像相隔了一个很大的鸿沟。。。我不喜欢他们好像什么事都是躲着我，不让我知道似的，那种感觉就好像是我就是他们拿来说坏话的对象。我真恨讨厌现在的自己和这种感觉。

雨，谢谢那一场让我成为落汤鸡的雨，让雨浇淋所有的一切，我真的很希望雨可以冲走在心里的这一份忧愁，可是为什么，在那场雨结束后，我的心情还是回到了原点，没有什么改变？？？

In IPGMK Temenggong Ibrahim

Well, maybe can said after 1 month here, then only i am able to post a blog here...
What we had here is totally different from the time in school, we have to study from early morning from 7.30am till 4.30pm in the afternoon, then on the thursday we will have GERKO(wat we have like Kokurikulum last time) somemore... then our class population is totally smaller then before, we have just 17 students in my class, that's only for my option(BC/PJ/KS) and i am in the second class. mayb i can say that luckily we the student from SMJK Chung Cheng are placed in the same class here(they'r mei yuan, li hui, boon hao n of coz myself here) I felt so happy to be with them. but for now, the worst thing is we need to walk for about 15-20 minutes from our hostel to reach the academic block there. after we have move to a new block here....

別了中六學生生涯

現在想想，突然覺得時間轉眼間就過去了

回想起來，我們進入中華中學就讀也快兩個月了

從陌生的讀書環境，習慣的感覺慢慢地也在我的心中滋生著

還記得初來報到的我們就像初生的嬰兒，

在學校逛一逛，就簡直是會迷路似的

后來，打打撞撞之下，我們也認識了很多地方

可是，這也多虧有人的指引，否則至今我們還是不知道那學校真正的模樣

在這一時刻，要離開的那一片刻，突然覺得心里真的很不舍

不舍得在中六得到的及擁有的

還記得，從開學至今，我們都是一起上學和放學的，

在這離開的那一剎那，真的很想繼續跟你們一起讀書，開玩笑及談話

相比起來，中六和中五的生活確實是有差別，

功課或許看起來少了許多，可是所花費的時間越來越長了

題目則是除了證明還是證明，再者想象力『可惜，我們的想象力已漸漸地被摧毀了』

不知道這一別后，再見又是何時呢？

會不會，偶然間我們在街上擦肩而過時，對方都處于猜疑對方身份的狀況呢？

朋友。我會想念你的...

別了，有緣再見...

Finally I made up my mind....

After I had made up of mind, I felt a relieve in myself...

Finally I went out of the Dilemma...

I heard many suggestion and opinion for me to take this decision...

It's quite hard for me oso to make this decision when then time came,

that I had choose only one of them ....

Between F6 and IPGM...

At first, I'm thinking of going there for only 1 week first, then after that i decide if i did not manage to change the course oso I will be continue my study there...

I think this is the best choice for me oso, because if i take F6, there is a risk tat I m not qualified to the field that I want...

It was nobody decision except of only me because my parents let me to choose whether which 1 that I would like to choose...

13/7/2009 Going to be in IPGM Temenggong Ibrahim...

I'm ready for the next challenge...

Fighting....

And all the best to all my friends oso that chosen to IPGM...

Good Luck...

For F6 students, I'm sure that you all will pass the STPM on th coming year with flying colours...

In the Dilemma right now.... What should i choose...

26/6/2009

Today, the result of the maktab is out. I really don't know whether I should be happy or not? Everything was just out of my control since the result was announced. Getting in to the IPGM is really happy la but just see what is the courses that I managed to get... I really don't know all about it..[Chinese, Pendidikan Jasmani and Pengajian Sosial]

Haha..What is it all this things about... i don't even know 1 except for chinese... but my chinese is so poor... i don't wan to 'kill' all those our next generation.. ok?

Now, i think my ambition is going to move far and far from me... So, will it be the correst choice if I go there? I just simply don't know. But if i choose teacher as my profesion... the work is right there after i have finished my degree. Ah... I felt like I'm getting to get mad ad. Can anybody please help me out of this???

Anybody there????????????

L6SP @ L6PB

What is actually L6SP or L6PB ??? that's is our new class lo in SMJK Chung Hwa... many of us from 5Sc1 manage to enter the L6PB, but actuaaly it is just a new term only ... We are actually in the same class like before also... Haiz so pity of us... I just hope that i still can be with them laughing together in the class not like now... my class is so 'cool' , hardly can see that they are laughing like we did before... i miss the times with all of u...

many humors did appear before this, that our two classes will be seperated into three... i dunno just that our form teacher said that all those thing is just on the paper but pratically we are just in two....I dunno sometimes just hope that i could be with all of u all but when came to know that the 'double' oso in that class ... haiz , dun wan ad la... same like her gang la i think for the girl that is in my class... very arrogant de....

then now came the next humors said that our class will be maintained the same just but the practical time we are divided into L6SP @ L6PB... Haiz dying now... nobody are in the same clss with me anymore that from 5Sc1 that are in physics class... then with who am i going to partner with when came to the pratical time...

after for almost 1 month in SMJK Chung Hwa, i think it's juz that i hope to be in peace, dun wan to quarrel with them... but sometimes they are really very 'geram' nuh.... they seem to be only in their gang not even will start to talk with us if we dun start that...

hoping that the 1.5 years can past quickly...

Another Big Dissapointment

22/05/2009

Another big big dissapointment today!!! I hope I had never appeal for the matriculation, then I won't be having a hope or expectation on this kind of things ad... Why? Why? Why? I could not understand why I can't manage to enter matriculation. I undrstand that I am not the best student but it doen't mean that I could not manage to get a good result if I were given a chance there...

It was really hard to accept that and sad, why I am the only one in the family that doesn't get anything of offer. I did not expect more, i just hope that i can get matricultion and i could study in a better environment. Why i don't even get it... I don't even put high hope for JPA but why my only wishes can't be fulfilled?

Blood Transfusion in SMJK Chung Hwa

21/05/2009

Today is another new day, i made sure tat i m in the best condition tat i m not sick n i m able to donate blood...

Wow, when the time came, it was not my 1st time to donate blood oso but i oso dunno why i felt so nervous, unlike the last time in NS where else there gt some of my mad friends make a lot of noise n jokes there... then, when my monitor said we can move to the car park to make the blood transfusion i felt like dun wan to do it anymore... HAHA...

But, at last i did it coz i really wish to do it ma n oso accompany my cute girl(mei yuan), then the doctor did some test for me as usual... but when to the next counter i juz saw tat i need to donate 450ml... Aiya!!! how come like tat de??? last time juz 350ml... really scare la...

the ppl in charge there really scare tat i will fainted ask me to go have a meal for so many times.... n oso the teacher there... then at last i decided to go have a cake lo coz dun wan they to start n nagging there ad.... HEHE....

Then when the nurse start her work, i found that evrything going smoothly n i din feel any pain la... i can saw my blood was entered the bag... hehe..so many but so slow eh... OMG... the nurse start to notice that ad... how come it will become like tat de??then the nurse start to take out the needle n put in again so pity me... have to do it so many times...

Finally the session is finished.. Thank God... the nurse then start to ask me to haev meal again... aiyo.. they thought we are wat ah? eat ... eat n eat.... haiz... it was really felt like tired lo today...
I juz wan to do good deeds to help others...
Hoping tat my blood can help others...

The boring day in Lower Six....

When the time came, i have no other way other than enter the school that i didn't want since i m in primary school...SMJK Chung Hwa[last time we can be considered as enemy for both of the school student], then now it's quite funny when we the student of SMJK Chung Cheng need to enter their school since our school had no any Form 6... Haiz, tat's y lo...

14/05/2009
We entered our classroom as v are informed that we need to study in 'this' class temporarily... i dun know the'temporary' is for how long... juz hope tat the time will end faster lo because we came to know that both of these classroom[L6SP n L6SB] has juz been renovated and it was haunted[ i don't know i juz know when our chemistry teacher told us, mayb it was true] coz it has not been used for dunno how many years ad...Haha... the haunted classroom... i dun dare to try to be in that class alone ad from now...

Then it was a starting day for our lesson ad... many of the teacher entered the class ad but i dun even know their names except for my form teacher=chemistry teacher, others[sorry ya... juz because u all didn't introduced urself n u dun expect me to go n check everybody in the school]... Hehe... MT1, MT2, BI n oso Chemistry i know ad who is gong to teach me but juz wat i write lo... i dun know those teacher... For our PA n FZ, our teacher haven't come in yet... i m looking forward to see them on this coming sunday...

Then, another thing is i think we hardly can mix well wiz those ex-chung hwa student ad... i dun know how are we going to stay there for so long time lo...

Missing of the sweet memories n sad memories...

My Company Flag...[Mat Kilau]

Wirawati Dorm D01....

I could still remember when the time came, tat was the time we could check our NS status.. wow, tat was really excited... i felt very happy to get it... because i like to go camping... N from tat time i start to dream to get a camp in other states.... But unfortunately[eleh...tipu], when the letter came. aiyo my eldest sister call me when i m in my exam.. i could still remember tat day was a biology paper... tat was really sad... i get only i our state, Kelantan but Gua Musang[a place tat i never step my feet b4] haha... so funny, a kelantanese but nvr been there... but i m happy tat i gt my frens there oso... my best frenz la can b considered...[chuink mei ying] n oso li hui n others somemore tat in my school...

Then came the D-day, i brought my luggage n all my things to Pengkalan Chepa[the place where v assemble], tat was a crowd there... my parents juz left after they dropped me there n juz after i sat on the bus... on the bus wat a pity la, nobody of my friends was in the same bus wiz me.... i think it's ok la it might be okay all the way there... i will meet them there.... then i can see tat many of ppl cry, mayb they didn't wan to apart wiz their family...

when i reach there, it could be said as kejutan budaya also la because the teacher in charge there was really scary la... how m i going to stay there for three months? then the teacher giv me my dorm no... n i can c tat li hui are same dorm with me.... ha ha i m happy with tat... finally i can meet them... n gt someone accompany me.. The three months there was really fantastic times tat i had in my lifetimes i think... although i gt the sad memories there but many sweet memories there n i m happy to know my dorm mates... i m quite disappointing at 1st wiz my company as if v can't co-operate among ourselves n make our sarjan cry a lot on it... but i m happy tat finally v make althought v being scolded very much n our teacher can b said nvr bother abt us.... tat make it a champion for our company...

Besides tat, i also learn alot from the khidmat komuniti at FELDA ARING n GUA MADU, besides tat i also had the opportunities to donate blood...[ it was really scary, but nth abt it] then i also hav many classmates tat i had in CB class, kenegaraan class, integrasi class n also i came to know many ppl wiz the performance tat i had during the PPSB for the preparation of Malam Citra Puisi... Thx all my frens tat really help me alot n carefor me during i m in trouble* or when i m sick since i m so weak.... always need to enter medic juz for gastric n all those small things la... Thank u... although i was late but i hope u know tat...

腳踏實地來得好

或許不應該再去追究這些有的沒的啦！

做人看開點，或許我的明天會比今天來得更好更美麗呢！

即使我再去想也是沒用的啦！因為它已成為了一個不爭的事實啦！

嘻嘻。。。

我并不想被人無端端抓去了，

我只是善意的想要表達自己內心里的話而已。。。
咳！真的很后悔當初不努力些，
讓自己考取好成績不就得了。。。
還是我的運氣就是那么的背呀？

不知去向

真的很矛盾，
我真的不知道我未來的路到底是應該怎么走的。。。。
選師訓、等大學先修班或是進人人所講得可怕的中六好呢？
真的很討厭我們國家的那個先給馬來人優先的權益。。。
說什么國家團結，那我們非土著的權益在哪？
為什么事事我們都要讓給他們優先呢？
我明白雖然我的成績并不是最佳的，
可是也沒有爛過那些馬來人呀！他們憑什么6A 或5A就可以進大學先修班。。。
嗐！或許這就是我們華人的命運吧！
可是真的很不服氣哦！